Someone, a very dear someone, once asked me, if I was running away from love… lets answer her today and hope she’s chances upon it, sometime in her life… however far into the future, the chance event happens…
Nope, I haven’t ever run away from love, in fact I have always stared it in the face… and tasted it in a myriad flavours and yet, the flavour that I seek, the traces of which I carry in my mind- conscious, sub-conscious or un-conscious, I know not myself, but I know it’s there, for each time, I taste a new flavour, find it in a new form, I know, that’s not what I seek…
…..at times, it feels, like I have found it… yes, finally I have, the heart skips many beats and the mind races on mindlessly, it seems that it’s all there, every bit of the essence that I seek, the sweet music of romance reaches a crescendo, bliss knows no bounds and then it all collapses… collapses like a palace, a large palace…a beautiful palace… a palace of cards…
...then, I wake up, as if from a dream… knowing that, it wasn’t for real… it just felt like it was… it was love, but not what was sought… not the flavour, that lingers on the tip of the tongue, but never quite settles down… there is never an absolute, always some ingredient missing…
Shattered, I wake up… but surprisingly good to go, probably coz, I’m used to it, now or coz, I’m wired that way or maybe I realise that I haven’t really lost anything, that was mine to lose and on I move again, in search of the feeling, the flavour that’s mine… one that I hope, (I hope against hopes hopen!!! As Mr Nash* puts it…) dost exist… but I know not, if it does…
*Mr Nash- the poet- Ogden Nash
-The Word.
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